Are you on the right path for you?
Hey there my name is Kim and welcome to my new blog.
Im going to be sharing with you a little bit about my life.
Im a different kind of girl. I never fit into any type of mold or into society really. I have suffered from anxiety, and depression, awkward childhood, and all the joys of being a outcast.
Im going to be sharing with you my healing journey with my illness, and how I overcame the hardships of having a illness you cant cure.
Ill share with you how I became to love herbs, wicca characteristics in personality, ominism, Gardening, being connected to the earth, how to find out who you truly are.
now I'm no Dr. and I dont make any claims and I cant cure you or give you medical advise of any sorts but I can share my experiences with you and you can do as you wish.
So to begin these shinanagins I'm going to share a bit about myself.
I'm 29 and a mother of 6.
I have three living children and 3 that I lost.
I lost a little girl in 2013 and my twins in 2010.
I have been married to my best friend for 11 years and still in love with him like I was the day we met.
I live in the good state of Utah and the mountains are my home and the sunsets are my favorite.
I love crafting, gardening, my favorite season is Fall and Spring.
I collect Crystals, I love to sage, and I'm studying about herbs and aromatherapy right now.
Im intuitive, spiritual, and love animals, and being outdoors.
This last year I have been slowly working on learning yoga, I got my schooling done to be a CNA, and I am currently working and I love my job.
My life has been far from sweet but I'm grateful for my experiences good, and bad because I grew so much from them.
The last 6 years have been the most life changing and I don't even know where to begin.
I dont know if many people even know but I got extremely sick and was bedridden for 6 months. I was diagnosed with Ms, Fibro, Lyme disease, Chronic fatigue ect ect. That was so hard because damn... people are fucking assholes...
When I got sick and with all the Dr. visits and MRI's I got called everything I the book. Hypochondriac, Faker, attention seeker, bored. ect ect.. yeah people suck. Just because you couldn't see the pain didn't mean I couldn't feel It. So I had to learnt to blow it off and ignore everyone just because they weren't educated on the situation and very close minded to others issues because they haven't accepted their own issues. I just figured that Karma will do it's job one day and I will just let it be. You cant fix stupid anyways...
So it was then I started educating myself on illnesses and natural ways to cure or heal my conditions. I prayed and all that but it just wasnt enough. I had a path and I needed to learn about these things. I started using essential oils, reading books, seeking out healers that used EFT, light work, different foods for healing, crystals, smudging, ect and thats when I had my "AH HA" moments. I was depressed and not happy because the pain and I was suicidal. I was wanting anything to get me out of my misery. After releasing some buried emotions and practiced forgiveness with a very special lady who is now deceased I woke up feeling completely different.
I had felt a relief of pain for once in over a year and a half.
I had several surgeries and hysterectomy at 25 and lost my baby girl. I had to overcome a lot.
I was also struggling with my spirituality because at the time I was a part of a religion I felt like I could never fit into. I did meet some amazing people but thats all it was. For years I had put on a fake face and hid who I really was so people wouldnt judge me. I dont like being someone Im just not. No one likes feeling that way. Since recently coming out with telling friends and family I'm not longer apart of that world anymore they all freak out, and think something is wrong.. its weird to me.. nothing is wrong I just dont like it. Easy as that now move along.
I had to do what was best for me and I wasnt going to sit and pretend anymore. nope!
I still go to the functions because the social interaction is very nice and I have made amazing friends and my kids also like seeing their friends so we go. Just because I have a different path and chose to be who I'm meant to be doesnt mean I dont love the people I have come to know so well.
Sorry I jump around a lot I promise their is a reason for it so keep reading because its all connected.
Ok so now that I have learned these ways of healing and how to program my brain to think more positively I started seeing changes in my body. I started sleeping better, Being more intuitive, I found a deeper meaning to my life and what Im supposed to be doing here.
Im a ambivert, I dont like big crowds, and I'm weird and I love it. I see the good in the world and the bad, I am more open minded and I understand and feel more emotions.
I got out of my normal way of thinking to heal. You cant change unless you really want to change. If you talk about all the shitty things that are going on in your life, thats all that you are going to get out of life because thats all you talk about. If you talk about all the good things going on in your life you will see that your life will start to change. What you put out to the universe that is what you are going to receive.
You first have to see how you think. If you are a manipulator but you have told yourself so many times that what is wrong is right then you actually begin to believe it . Thats the sad thing is that people get stuck that way. If you tell them what they are they go into denial mode and wont believe you and will just straight into defense mode. even when they want to change they wont unless they see their actions and how they are thinking. so you have to see how you think and really see if what you are doing and saying to yourself is really true or not.
dont lie to yourself because you will always get lies. getting into shitty relationships, be around the wrong people, and you will be in the vicious cycle of negativity. Do you really want to have this life you have right now forever? really ask yourself. "Is this how I want to live the rest of my life?" If not then change it because no one will do it for you. you dont matter to anyone else but yourself and you owe it to yourself to be happy.
when you start changing your thoughts you change the cycle and you will start to see change in a good way.
So for me I had to learn and I have learned so much over the last few years that I just needed to be true to myself and just be happy. I owe it to myself to be happy and I'm at that age and I needed to realize that I dont need someone elses approval to be happy.
so I changed.
I said Fuck it.
I became myself again.
The big hearted nature lover, mommy, yoga loving wife and spiritual being that I always knew I was. When I gave all my frustrations to the universe and called to my angles to help me I felt the world lift off my shoulders.
I may not be book smart or techy, I dont have a high paying job, Im not popular or well known... not that I even care... I dont give a shit about other peoples words about me because only I know me and my situations. I will not change for anyone because God made me this way and I will enjoy my gifts and talents without someones opinion.
what about my husband and kids?
They love me even more for being true to myself.
I will teach them all the same way to. love yourself, dont harm others, and run into the light with happiness.
Think about your life. are you doing what makes you happy? are you on the right path for you? why not?
I am the source of my own light and inside my heart I shine bright. I will never be like the rest because Im not you!
