Autistic culture has coined two terms to describe our relationships with our favourite food: safefood and samefood.
Safefood is a food that brings us joy, comfort, and peace when we eat it.
Samefood is a food that we have grown so attached to that we can, or do, eat it every day.
Me and Justin talked about this. We both grew up in homes where we were forced to learn about food insecurities. Rarely did we ever come across foods that we were comfortable with or that we enjoyed the most of.
When I was younger, I remember only liking to eat certain things.
Did I ever connect that they were associated with the spectrum? No I didn’t.
I was in math class with a kid who was very cool, but seemed very shy and he was on the spectrum and had Asperger syndrome.
From then on, I always wondered if I was more like that kid than anyone else in my school. 
I should’ve known at some point that liking the same foods were not common. The schools only had certain types of food. We all know that but in high school that was when I really learned that the only thing they gave me comfort was going to lunch and getting a large slice of cheese pizza with a cup of ranch on the side from the potato bar.
High school was not easy for me  I never fit in with anybody I was always getting picked on but lunchtime came around and I knew I could grab my pizza and go sit by myself and eat.
I don’t think I strayed too far from that pizza bar the whole time I was in high school. Even in elementary school if we had the option for a square pizza that was usually what I got. 
When I would go home, I would eat, but only just to be fed the food that my mom cooked never made me happy and the only time I was happy is if I went to a store and got some thing I wanted myself.
Even as an adult, I struggle with food. I struggle with finding the right food that I want during the day and I still struggle with food insecurities. 
I typically don’t have the energy to make some thing. I literally put aside one spoon to make justin a sandwich for work because I don’t even have the energy to feed myself most of the time.
But I like doing things for him because I love him and I want him to be able to eat.
But if it was me getting up to make a sandwich for myself , that probably wouldn’t happen unless it was too late in the day and I was already starving.
When I was little, I also like eating ham dipped with ranch or cheese, dipped with ranch.
when you’re undiagnosed, and you don’t have much to choose from you try to pick the little things that could possibly bring some happiness. 
Growing up in a home where I rarely had happy foods.
I always looked forward to going to my dads.
My dad would make us goulash or he would make chocolate shakes out of vanilla ice cream and Nesquick, which was one of my favorite things when I go to his house on the weekends. 
But it wasn’t until I got older, that I realized that there was a pattern in my eating. I would typically reach for the things that were the easiest to eat. Snack foods that required little effort, but will give me some semblance of happiness.
If I could go and get Chinese food, pizza or something that didn’t require me having to physically think too much about it made me feel a lot better. 
If that wasn’t an option, I typically don’t eat.
I do love Wendy’s chili cheese fries to. 
It is not healthy, but I mentally do not have the capacity most days to even come up with ideas to make meals with.
I thought it was some thing I just hated doing till I realized after I was diagnosed with ADHD. It is literally some thing that I struggle with mentally.
Cooking comes really easy to some people but for me is probably the last thing on my list that I would ever strive to be successful at. 
What does safe foods look like for me? Usually it’s a little bit of a dopamine hit with a Coca Cola. Most of the time it’s based off of cravings if I want some thing salty or something sweet or both.
On any given day I could go for pizza, but I don’t like eating the same pizza place all the time I like to switch it up because the flavors aren’t always the same.
I love Chinese food and if I had to pick a Chinese food place, I would usually go to Golden Jade but they changed their food and it’s not the same which is usually turn off.
But I do like panda express they’re pretty good.
I don’t try new things often because I don’t like them. It throws off my routine and I like to stick with what I know.
When I was 12 years old, I try to Subway sandwich that was a 6 inch turkey on white with American cheese with mayo, mustard, lettuce, tomato, and oil, vinegar and oregano.
I am 34 almost 35 years old and that is still the same sandwich I get every time I go in there but this time I add olives and banana peppers. 
Sometimes I crave Del tacos, chicken soft tacos, or a bean and cheese burrito that’s usually all I get from there with a Coca Cola.
I don’t typically stray from those things unless I have to.
I don’t usually make those foods at home either because they don’t taste the same and by the time I put in all the cooking effort, I have very little appetite to eat.
Sometimes, if we have the money though, I do like going to burger bar it’s one of my favorite burger places and they have the best onion rings. 
The reason I share this is because now that I know that I am on the spectrum, I know more about myself than I ever have before. Looking back on my life I can see where a lot of this stuff has affected me because I didn’t know that they weren’t normal in the normal world. 
On any given day, whenever Justin brings me home food my whole day changes, because I know physically that I don’t have to put the energy into something I absolutely hate doing.
I love feeding my family don’t get me wrong but cooking is one of the things I least like doing.
most people hate laundry I hate cooking.
so what do safe foods mean?
It means that certain foods bring me happiness, especially when they don’t have to be made by me. But I’ll say foods are textually desirable they have a flavor that I like and it is part of my routine.
Makes me feel comfortable.
Now, if you have a child who you don’t know is on the spectrum or you do know is on the spectrum and they’re picky eaters typically they might have a sensitivity to that food because it doesn’t bring them happiness.
Now to a neurotypical person would say that that wouldn’t matter because they need to eat to nourish their bodies but in their mind they are looking for anyway through the day to bring them happiness. 
Yes, even as a grown-up, I have cried over food and yes, I have had meltdowns because I couldn’t even open food.
Justin knows all about the bacon lol but in my head raising three kids being exhausted from chronic pain, and even the simplest thing as not even being able to open up a package of bacon brought me to tears.
it’s a very touchy subject because I did not know how food affected me during the day especially if I’m already overstimulated.
We laughed about it at first but now that I see that I had an underlying problem that we didn’t know about, I actually feel quite bad about the situation.
I have cried because I haven’t wanted to make food. But everybody relies on the mom to get everything done in the house, which is so hard to keep up with.
 I wish there was easier way around it but I would literally have to have a personal chef.
I have tried on so many occasions to make cooking a part of our routine but I get so burnt out by the time I’m done cooking that I don’t even want to eat.
Then there’s the mess to clean up and the dishes that have to be done or you can’t sleep at night.
trust me if I didn’t have to be this way I wouldn’t be, but this is the type of trial that I am faced with this life.
It doesn’t always suck being on the spectrum. You see things that way other people don’t you can analyze things the way other people can’t and sometimes when I talk about things I can come off extremely blunt or rude, but I just say things how I feel like they are or how I see them in my mind.
I’m grateful for my diagnosis, and I’m grateful to finally learn who I really am and why I like and dislike things. I’m very smart at certain things.
I can see things from different perspectives, and I can relate to people, especially emotionally more than others.
I do envy the kids that have been diagnosed early who do have parents or other people around them to help them through life because I didn’t have that.
I didn’t have family or doctors who understood who I was until recently, and there is a little bit of grieving that comes along with that.
But if I could share anything with a fellow person or a parent of a child who is on the spectrum, please go easy on them as sometimes they don’t know how to speak the way they feel how to explain things that are going on in their mind, so be patient with them.
And if you do know their love, language is food make sure you get them food often so they don’t have to feel burnt out 😉😉
